lyrics
“I’M DEADPOOL”
Parody of “You’re Welcome” from “Moana”
DEADPOOL:
Oh, I see what's happening here
You're face to mask with Deadpool
and you're scared
You feel your knees start to shake
Did you just piss?!
You faceless goons are always unprepared
Meet my two girls, let's be clear
Yes, it's me! Dwayne Johnson
Eyes up here
I know it's a lot - the black, the red
But it's to hide the blood
when you're all dead!
So, what can I say except: I'm Deadpool!
With my swords, these guns, you'll die!
You'd better pray it's okay, I'm Deadpool!
I'm just your friendly neighborhood fucked-up-guy!
GUARD:
It's Deadpool!
DEADPOOL:
Yup, I'm Deadpool!
VOICES:
Maximum effort?
HELL YEAH!
DEADPOOL:
Man, honestly, I could go on and on
Actually, I'm a mutated phenomenon
The strength, the bod to boot
Doesn't my junk look great in this suit?
I hit this guy, right in the nuts
Why do the fans seem to like that so much?
Don't need a hammer, don't need a gamma ray
I'll make you laugh as I'm taking your life away
Damage the suit and reveal my skin
Look at this leg coming off at the shin
The merc with the mouth always knows what to say
Hey, look at these dudes 'cause they're coming my way
And it's hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey!
Hey! Ow! Ow! Five Nights At FUCK YOU, buddy!
GUARD:
Let it go... Let it go...?
DEADPOOL:
...MY musical.
DEADPOOL/VOICES:
[He's Deadpool!]
I'm Deadpool!
[He's Deadpool!]
I'm Deadpool!
[He's Deadpool!]
I'm Deadpool!
Thank you, uh thank you very much.
“PART OF A TEAM”
A Parody of “Part Of Your World” from “The Little Mermaid”
DEADPOOL:
Maybe she's right… Maybe there is something wrong with me.
JUBILEE:
Oh, seriously?
DEADPOOL:
Look at these kills, aren't they neat
all by myself forty fucks met defeat
JUBILEE:
Oh, god.
DEADPOOL:
Wouldn't you think I'm the merc
Merc who has everything?
JUBILEE:
I'm gonna be sick.
DEADPOOL:
Look at you, Wade
Why does it seem
You're all alone never part of a team
Looking around here you'd think
Yeah, well... he's got hobbies.
BLIND AL:
Yeah, jerkin' off.
DEADPOOL:
I've got pistols and plushies aplenty
I've got ammo and fleshlights galore.
You want thingamabombs?
I've got twenty!
...oh, SHIT!
But a team? Do I want?
I'm not sure...
I wanna be where the heroes are!
I wanna be tag teaming the bad guys
Rolling around with that wheelchair bound Mr. Clean!
Breaking fourth walls only goes so far
Guns are required for shooting, blasting
Then time to change, what's that word again?
Oh... magazine!
Teamed up with Cap, Wolvie or Chuck
I'd even work with Howard the Duck!
Just wait and see
I'll prove I can be
Part of A-TEAM
DEADPOOL:
"A-Team". 80's Reference. The kids love that.
BLIND AL:
You are such an asshole.
“NO CHANCE IN HELL”
A Parody of “Belle” from “Beauty And The Beast”
DEADPOOL:
Maybe a chance that I could join the X-Men?
You know I'd help your movies sell!
Good to see you again
Thought Anna packed it in
X-MEN:
Please let us be, there's just no chance in hell!
DEADPOOL:
ROGUE! So, how about a little skin-on-skin contact?
ROGUE:
UGH! Ya'll thought this was a bright idea?
BEAST:
He doesn't even have an X-Men uniform.
DEADPOOL:
BEAST! So meta. So, Belle still giving you blue... everything?
CYCLOPS:
Look alive, X-Men!
DEADPOOL:
Logan, if you wanted someone to impale you-
WOLVERINE:
GET OUT OF MY WAY!
DEADPOOL:
Hey Jubilee! We'd get cool matching earrings
We'd do some fastballs, that'd be swell!
Scratch my Beast, I'll scratch yours
BEAST:
My stars and garters, you've got sores!
X-MEN:
Oh, please won't you just let us be!
We're begging you, Wade, just let us be!
There's absolutely just no chance...
...in hell!
X-MEN:
Good DAY!
Get lost!
Fuck you!
Go home!
Good bye!
YOU SUCK!
“A WHOLE NEW TEAM”
A Parody Of “A Whole New World” from “Aladdin”
DEADPOOL:
I can show you my sword
IRON MAN:
Um, stop trying to steer me, Wade.
DEADPOOL:
And I don't mean my katana
IRON MAN:
Dickjoke. Groundbreaking.
DEADPOOL:
Tell me, Tony, now when did you last
Let this merc inside?
IRON MAN:
Avengers, I need backup.
BLACK WIDOW
A whole new team!
DEADPOOL:
Don't you dare close your thighs.
IRON MAN:
Not what I meant, Natasha.
BLACK WIDOW:
Another man to take screen time!
DEADPOOL:
Just pretend that I'm Pepper.
THE AVENGERS:
This cast is far too large
Not Rated R
To let this whackjob
Join our team today!
NICK FURY:
What part of no singing on this motherfuckin' channel DON'T you people get?
CAPTAIN AMERICA:
Language.
NICK FURY:
TONY. Drop that bitch.
IRON MAN:
Uh, yeah... Give it a couple years, kid.
DEADPOOL:
Oh... shiiiiiiiiiiit!
“BE A TEAM”
A Parody Of “Make A Man Out Of You” from “Mulan”
PUCK:
Let's get down to business!
To defeat The Hand!
Hordes of faceless bad guys
From a ninja clan!
DEADPOOL:
Thanks for the exposition, Puck
And for making true my dream
ALL:
Puck and Wade
And Sasquatch!
We're a team!
DEADPOOL:
What the shit?
ROGUE & JUBILEE:
I guess we're here to help you now
To beat up all these shogun!
BLACK WIDOW:
Don't know if we're friends or I'm a fool.
DEADPOOL:
With benefits!?
WOLVERINE:
What's this asshole up to now?
DEADPOOL:
Welcome back, zombie Logan!
SPIDER-MAN:
Guess it's time for me to show up too!
DEADPOOL:
SPIDEYPOOL!!
ALL:
Be a team!
The baddest team-up in Marvel history
Be a team!
Please turn this dead guy into a meme
Be a team!
What happens now that we're owned by Disney?
(pause)
Fighting together, we're all part of a team!
Be a team!
A band of misfits with super powers
Be a team!
So overpowered it's almost cruel
Be a team!
Magneto trembles and Thanos cowers
Win, then go get shawarma
Without Deadpool!